Maaring narinig mo na ang mga statements na: “Road trip tayo this weekend” or “Share ka naman sa bibilhing gift para kay bunso.”
You feel that familiar tug of hiya, and it’s discomforting to say no. The next thing you know, you’ve agreed to spend more than you planned. Kailangan mo kasing makisama.
Hiya and pakikisama are deeply rooted in our social upbringing. We are taught to keep good relations and avoid disappointing others. Sabi nga ni Filipino historian Prof. Xiao Chua sa Moneygurado Episode 3: Nakaka-maintain ng social harmony ang pagkakaroon ng hiya at pakikisama—but when left unchecked, pwede ‘tong magdulot ng financial stress at anxiety.
Pwede mo ring ma-miss yung opportunity na gumawa ng emergency funds, mag-invest, or mag-aral ng new skills. Even worse, baka mabaon ka lang sa utang just to keep up with appearances.
Pero sabi nga ni Prof. Chua, there’s nothing inherently wrong with our culture of hiya and pakikisama. Instead, we just need to work with and around it. “Kailangan lang i-recognize na itong mga katangiang ito ay pwedeng makabuti sa atin, o pwedeng dalhin sa mabuti at pwede ring dalhin sa masama.”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with the Filipino trait of hiya and pakikisama. And conversations about money are almost always uncomfortable. Pero meron paraan to make it less intimidating. Ito ang ilang tips:
Create a simple monthly budget – This is the most important. Tutukan ang mga necessities ng pamilya. Kung kaya, mag-set ng budget para sa mga extra expenses tulad ng group or family activities.
Be polite in your replies about your finances – ‘Pag naumpisahan na ang usapang pera, focus on making the conversation as comfortable, productive, and clear as possible. This sets your boundaries and eliminates assumptions.
Offer low‑cost alternatives to group activities – Kung hindi kaya ng budget, mag-suggest ng simple activities such as picnic or potluck gatherings.
Don’t spend more just to show off – Hindi kailangang gumastos o umutang para makisama. Kung mag-aambag, ibigay mo lang kung ano ang kaya.
Learn to say “no” – Know your financial boundaries. Hindi mali kung hindi mo kayang magbigay sa ngayon.
Talking about money with family and friends is definitely not an easy task. Pero kahit mahirap, pwede mo pa ring gawing positive ang conversation about money.
To be able to give to your family and friends, you must be mindful of your own capabilities and limitations. Ang pag-aalaga sa iyong finances ay pag-aalaga rin sa sarili mo.
For practical money tips and lessons, download our free e-book.
Watch Episode 3 of Moneygurado featuring Prof. Xiao Chua on the Earnest Learning website.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information purposes and does not constitute formal financial advice. Always do further research before making financial decisions and seek professional advice from a certified personal finance counselor. For more information, read the Earnest disclaimer here.